No one is immune to this emotion. However, anger levels vary widely. What triggers angry feelings and how they are expressed can differ greatly person to person.
Some anger is healthy, however, when anger causes negative effects on your relationships, employment and health or the health of others, it’s time to manage it differently.
After determining there is a problem, you must be willing to work with someone to find a different course of action. Yes, you may have homework!
James Baker and Newton Hightower developed an anger assessment quiz (angerselftest.com) to help you determine if anger may be a problem for you.
Answer True or False to these statements:
- I’ve had trouble on the job because of my temper.
- I fly off the handle easily.
- I don’t always show my anger, but when I do, look out.
- I still get angry when I think of the bad things people did to me in the past.
- Waiting in line really annoys me.
- I often find myself engaged in heated arguments with the people who are close to me.
- I sometimes lie awake at night thinking about the things that upset me during the day.
- When someone says or does something that upsets me, I don’t usually say anything at the time, but later I spend a lot of time thinking of cutting replies I could and should have made.
- I find it very hard to forgive someone who has done me wrong.
- I get angry with myself when I lose control of my emotions.
- I get aggravated when people don’t behave the way they should.
- If I get really upset about something, I have a tendency to feel sick later (frequently experiencing weak spells, headaches, upset stomach or diarrhea.)
- When things don’t go my way, I “lose it.”
- I am apt to take frustration so badly that I cannot put it out of my mind.
- I’ve been so angry at times I couldn’t remember what I said or did.
- Sometimes I feel so hurt and alone that I’ve thought about killing myself.
- After arguing with someone, I despise myself.
- When riled, I often blurt out things I later regret saying.
- Some people are afraid of my bad temper.
- When I get angry, frustrated or hurt, I comfort myself by eating or using alcohol or other drugs.
- When someone hurts me, I want to get even.
- I’ve gotten so angry at times that I’ve become physically violent, hitting other people or breaking things.
- At times I’ve felt angry enough to kill.
- People I’ve trusted have often let me down, leaving me feeling angry or betrayed.
- I’m an angry person. My temper has already caused lots of problems, and I need help changing it.
- If you answered true to 5 or more questions, you are above average in your angry feelings, but learning some anger management techniques can make you happier.
- If you answered true to 10 or more of these questions, you are prone to anger problems. It’s time for a change.
- If you answered true to 15 or more you are dangerously close to losing your life to anger. You are a “rageaholic.”
A high score does not doom you to a life of crime or destructive behavior. But it signals an issue. One that could be lessened with professional assistance.
At FCS, we have developed an Anger Management counseling program to assess your anger level, triggers and reactions and then work with you to make changes in your life to reduce these issues. Our program has been approved by the Winnebago County courts and most parole or probation officers. After your initial assessment, our counselors will work with you on individual anger journals; review how to know if your anger is healthy or not; review coping strategies and offer different ways to look at situations and react to them.
Each session is 50-60 minutes long. Completing the program may take anywhere from 8-18 sessions depending on the severity of the issue and how well you are able to incorporate the new ways of thinking and behaving shared in sessions.
We work with clients on probation; those who have had other agencies involved because of abuse reports; as well as those who have or have thought of harming themselves or others.
If you are ready for a happier life, give us a call. We have the expertise to reduce your anger level and are here to help.